Post birth dramas and the Special Care Nursery.

So continuing on from where I left on the last post..

Heads up this is another lengthy one! #soznotsoz Walker and I both had a fever when he was born, and his breathing was a bit fast. Because I had Strep B and we both had a fever, they told me Walker would have to be put on a drip with antibiotics just as a precaution. They let all the family come in and meet him and he had his first Breastfeed then they took him upstairs to the Special Care Nursery.. I was so happy my baby was finally here but it was bittersweet because the joy and happiness soon turned to worry. All the Doctors and Midwives assured me he looked healthy, and they weren't worried this was purely a 'just to be safe' thing, and of course I understood that and would rather be safe than sorry. Dylan went up with Walker and the Midwife stayed down with me to help me have my first shower. So I bled a lot after birth, I cant remember exactly how much blood but they said it was just under being classed as a Post Birth Haemorrhage. So when I stood up for the first time it was horrible. The Midwife walked me over to the shower and went out to finish some paperwork.

I started getting real dizzy, couldn't see properly or hear properly so I had to press the little emergency button thing to get the midwife in. Because I lost so much blood my blood pressure stayed really low. I've always had High Blood Pressure so having it so low was really crappy on my body, I just felt like complete crap and that lasted a few weeks after birth. As well as having low iron after birth as well. So for about 3 weeks after having Walker I would still get the feeling I'm about to pass out and really light headed and dizzy, it bloody sucked! Anyway, I ended up in a Wheelchair after that because they didn't want me walking yet, and they wheeled me up to Walker and Dylan. When I got up there Walker was laying on a bed and the doctor was trying to stick the IV in his little hand. Dylan told me this was the 3rd doctor that had tried, poor little man kept getting poked and proded while they were trying to find a vein. It was heartbreaking, all I wanted to do was pick him up and cuddle him but I knew I couldn't. He took it like a champ though, no crying at all. True to form I cried more than him about it haha.

Visiting hours were over by this point so Dyl headed home to get some rest.

While I was in there the nurses told me to go back to my room and get some rest while Walker was sleeping but I just couldn't bring myself to leave him, I stayed in with him for another hour or 2 then I was wheeled back to my room. Because I was wanting to breastfeed the Nurses told me as soon as he woke for a feed they would come grab me, so that made me feel slightly better but still it just didn't feel right being back there without my baby.. The feelings are hard to explain, I was so happy and full of love for my baby but I wasn't allowed to take him back to my room or have him next to me where he should be. I was getting phone calls and messages asking all about Walker and how the birth was but all I wanted to do was cry, I didn't want to talk about it, I just wanted my baby. I kept worrying wondering if he is ok. All these silly thoughts were running through my head which is why I spent more time in with him than back at my room. I stayed in my room till around 11pm then went and sat back in with Walker until 7ish the next morning. All the nurses in the Nursery thought I was crazy, haha. #crazymumma

Dylan came back first thing that morning, we spent all day in there with Walker.

He was such a good baby, he just chilled, no crying, he was just staring up at us. It was so beautiful.

He was so alert and so content. Multiple midwives and doctors came in and questioned why he was in here, they all said "he looks too healthy to be in here'. And thankfully he was.

The day after he was born was really hard for me, I was really struggling with Breastfeeding. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, I struggled to get him to latch and he would just scream and cry out of frustration and so would I.. That night I hardly got any sleep again as I just couldn't leave him, I was getting way too emotional. It was about 11pm when I was really struggling to feed him and I lost it, I was so upset and felt like I was failing, I couldn't get it.

A lovely nurse came over and asked if I needed some help when she saw I was upset.

She kept apologising as someone had written on my notes that Walker was my second baby and I was completely fine and comfortable with breastfeeding so no one wanted to interfere.. I don't know where they pulled that one from, haha. She showed me some tricks and gave me some Breastfeeding tips and eventually we slowly started getting the hang of the latch! Yay!

The next morning a Nurse sat Dyl and I down and said once the doctor came around later on with Walkers blood test results we would find out whether we could take him home or if we would be in for a further 2 weeks, minimum.

Again I broke down when I heard that, the thought of having him in there for another day let alone weeks just broke my heart.

I wanted him with me, I wanted to be able to dress him in his clothes I packed, I wanted to feed him without having to be cautious of the needle in his arm and all the cords.

Dylan and I just wanted him home so we could learn to be parents and get to know our baby, as a family.

Eventually the doctor came and told us everything was perfect and I could take him back to my room tonight, and depending on how he goes overnight we could be going home tomorrow!! We were so happy!!

That night I just didn't want to put him down, he slept next to me in my bed all night. He was absolutely perfect he did not cry once!! I just fed him on demand which kept us both happy and content.

Even when the other babies in our room would scream, he just wasn't phased at all.

The next morning the lady next to me popped her head in to ask when Walker would be out of the nursery.. She didn't even realise he was in with me, that's how quite he was! Oh how times have changed haha.

Later that day the time had finally come, it was home time!! I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. At last he was all ours, we could go home and properly start our life together as a family of 3!!

We got down to the car and put Walker in his seat, then realised we had no idea how to adjust the straps on his seat.. An hour later, we were good to go haha. #rookies

The feeling of walking in to our home with our baby boy was just unexplainable. It felt like we had waited a lifetime, we couldn't have been happier!

The next few weeks were full of lessons and getting to know our son.

We were peed on, pooped on, thrown up on.

My nipples were cracked, bleeding and with every feed I was in so much pain. But I stuck to it..

Oh and how about that first after birth poo. Haha the midwives kept giving me laxatives or whatever to make me go, but I wouldn't take them.. I told them I had taken them but never did because I was petrified of going to the toilet.

A wee was scary enough, I had soo many stitches down there so just the thought of doing a number 2 freaked me the eff out.

I think it took just under 2 weeks for me to go. Crazy hey ahh.

Soz tmi, but I'm sure you all feel me and know what I mean haha.

Anyway I know I got carried away again, but the next ones will 100% be shorter.

This Blog and the Birth one just couldn't be shortened haha.

Thanks for reading my novel, keep an eye out for my next post x

The Tired Mumma x