Building a Rod for my own back.
There's nothing that annoys me quite as much as when someone tells me I spoil my son.
When I say spoil I don't mean spoil with materialistic things, I mean people tell me I spoil my baby with too much love and affection.
What an absolute joke, right?
I think so too.
I'm the first to admit I am very attached to my boy, if you read my anxiety post you would understand what I mean.
But I don't think there is anything wrong with that.
From the moment I gave birth I had people telling me, don't rock him or feed him to sleep, the moment he is asleep you need to put him down, and let him cry it out a bit so he learns to 'self soothe' or 'self settle'.
HAHAH OK, Well I done the opposite of every single one of those things and still do to this day.
I've always been a big believer of mothering through my natural instincts.
When I hear my child crying because he's upset my natural reaction is to pick him up and comfort him straight away, if he sleeps better and is more comfortable napping in my arms then that's what we will do.
I physically can't sit there and listen to my child screaming hysterically because he wants cuddles or my attention, and even if I could I wouldn't want to.
'You've really built a rod for your own back, silly girl'.
That's something that is said to me quite often, and you know what I freakin love my little rod I've created!
I wouldn't have it any other way, of course sometimes it would be nice to go to the toilet without a toddler watching me, or sit down without him climbing all over me, eating dinner while it's still hot would be nice too, but all that will come back one day and I will look back on these days and long for them.
You CANT spoil a baby with too much love or affection, and you definitely can't get too many cuddles from your baby.
The thing with parenting is, there is no right or wrong way.
If you prefer letting your child cry it out, that's fine you do whatever you feel works for you, just like I do what works for me.
See, for me I love having my boy by my side 24/7, I feel MY job as HIS mother is to love and nurture him as much as I can.
I don't judge people who parent differently to me, so why should I be judged on the way I parent?
You know what, sometimes my child is an absolute ass hole and he gets disciplined accordingly.
This also doesn't mean that he cries, and mummy gives him what he wants because that's not the kind of spoilt I'm talking about.
If he has been a little asshole and needs to sit there and cry a bit, then so be it.
Literally, just before I published this blog I had him crying at my feet while I was cooking dinner because I wouldn't let him pull the Christmas Tree down on top of himself, haha.
So just because I cuddle my child when he cries, let him sleep with me when he wants to, and am constantly that little dudes slave it doesn't mean he's going to grow into a sooky little brat.
I think it's teaching him love and affection and the importance of it, it's comforting him and letting him know that whether he's 1 or 21 that mummy will always be there for him, no matter what.
They're only little for so long.
Make the most of it.
Embrace the long nights, hold them that little bit longer while they're asleep, pick your newborn up and cuddle them if that's what you want to do.
If I didn't do it this way I would look back with regrets.
I definitely don't regret the way I've raised my child.
If you think I spoil him with love and too much affection, that's great I'll take that as a compliment.
I hope hes spoilt with love.
If 3 loads of washing need doing but my baby wants comfort, I'll cuddle him.
If I'm busy cleaning the house and my boy is sooky and won't sleep unless he's in mummy's arms, then you bet that the house can wait.
When he wakes up for the 10th time that night, I've learnt to embrace that little face staring back up at me because one day I will mourn for the days he relied on me for every little thing.
There's no way that in 12 years time I'll look back and regret spending too much time cuddling or tending to my baby and his needs.
When my son is older and too cool for mummy cuddles, I'll look back on these long nights and long days and be so grateful I didn't listen when everyone told me to stop 'spoiling' him.
I'm sure some people will sit here and read this and think this Mumma is crazy, and that's totally fine because I think I am crazy most of the time ha ha.
This isn't me sitting here saying you need to 'spoil' your baby with love and affection to be a good parent, because that's not what this post is about.
You know what, we all have our different ideas of the 'right' way to parent.
But honestly, is there such thing as a right way to be a parent?
As long as your baby is fed, taken care of, and shown some lovin, then you're doing the right thing.
Never feel guilty for showing your baby love, or for cuddling your baby.
Embrace that little rod and love it with all your heart.
The Tired Mumma xx